Tuesday, 12 April 2016

THE SECRET TO A LIFELONG FRIENDSHIP | TARA BERRIES


Being incredibly blessed with wonderful lifelong friends is a rare thing to find these days. Yet, I find myself being that lucky person who has friends that are always there to encourage, help, and uplift me. I try and do the same things for my friends as they do for me, there is nothing better than seeing a friend's face light up with a smile because of something I did.

People will often ask me how I have maintained my friendships for so long and my biggest tip is to leave things in the past. I look at failed friendships in the past and there were several reasons why those friendships failed but they could have continued had the friend, or myself, been able to put things aside. No one is perfect, not even your best friend and you have to be realistic of that fact when entering a friendship or else you are setting your friendship up for failure.

There is a difference of putting negative things in the past and being taken advantage of and that is something I find I have a hard time with. There are my obvious best friends who do not take advantage of me, ever but I have my outer circle of friends who I see a lot of but don't consider close, those are the ones who take advantage of me. These friends know that I have trouble saying no to things and sometimes they take my kindness of being naive.

I know the biggest thing for me to do in order to prevent being taken advantage of is to say no to things I don't want or care to do. I also know that some friends I need to take a break from as they are constantly taking advantage of me. I always end up leaving a hangout with them and wondering what I have gotten myself into and I know that isn't a good sign in a friendship.


As a person who always tries to find the good in people, that can be a really great quality except when I end up making excuses for the bad things in people. I will often say things like, "Yeah that person puts me down and makes me feel insignificant but they are reliable." I think it is my way of trying to justify why the friendship is still existing when I should just accept that the friendship needs to end.

Ending a friendship is not an easy thing to do and is not something I ever make a point to do (hence the being taken advantage of) but sometimes it just happens. I have had friendships just end mutually because we had created different friend groups and I have had friendships end in messy words were feelings got hurt. I still hold the good parts of those friendships dear to me and I learned from the bad parts of those friendships.




I am not one to have a lot of friends but I am one to have several very close friends who I try to communicate with as much as I can. I am not the girl who has their phone glued to their hand all of the time so when I text a friend, it is because I am truly thinking of them. I have friends who live in Montreal, Mississauga, and Toronto so I try and text message, phone, or FaceTime them every once in awhile to see what is going on in their life. I visit my best friend in Toronto often and he will visit me and I am always willing to travel to see my friends.

What is the secret to your lifelong friendship? Have you had friendships end? Was it a bad experience or was it mutual? Tell me a great story about your best friend (I could write a blog series titled, "REASONS WHY MY BEST FRIEND IS AWESOME").

Xo. Tara Berries

4 comments:

  1. Interesting read and a great topic to tackle!

    S .x http://ramblingsofayoungprgirl.blogspot.com

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  2. Wise words. Love leave the past behind.

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    Replies
    1. Thank-you Amelia. Do you have a blog link I can check out?

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